I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing….. (Part One)

For about 18 months I’ve had a little side project that has been bugging the hell out of me and I think I found the solution, or rather it punched me in the face one day when I wasn’t looking, cheeky bastard!

I had the idea of getting an old style glass Coca-Cola bottle and making it look full by painting the inside black.  Then I was going to fill it with builders cavity expanding foam used to seal around doors and window frames.  Hopefully it would expand and dribble down the outside of the bottle and dry to look like the brown foam cascading down the side of the bottle.

Despite the fact that the foam is exactly the right colour as real Coke froth, once it was dry I wanted to paint it in the red, white and blue of the ‘Stars & Stripes’ as if the foam was the flag being unfurled from within the bottle and spilling down the side.  Cool eh?

Problem No.1

I know you can paint the inside of a bottle BUT bugger me, could I?

No way could I get ANY type of black paint to stick to the inside of the glass, not even when I added transparent PVA glue to black acrylic paint!  Very frustrating and I’ve had about 4 failed attempts in the last 18 months!

A few weeks ago, I was sat in the garden cogitating, or ‘pondering’ as I like to say.  No one spends enough time pondering these days, you get a lot settled in your mind during a good ponder.  Out the blue I suddenly thought to myself black sand!

I was straight onto Amazon and bought 550grms of black aquarium sand.  I poured that into the bottle up to about the 2/3rds full mark.

Next I shall add the foam. 

On a practical note, I think the foam will rise, Phallus-like from with the bottle and emerge from the neck, continue to rise until, unable to support it length, despite it’s girth, it will topple and form a sticky blob on the kitchen table.

To avoid this possible outcome, a hairdryer set to Low will be employed to coax the foam in the required direction.

In reality, I’m pretty sure that as I press the nozzle to spray the foam into the bottle a huge cloud of sand will fly out and blind me AND then foam WILL NOT magically comply and gracefully glide down the outside of the bottle like a avalanche gracefully gliding along down a mountainside as if viewed from a distance, slowly, steadily and silently.

Instead, the plume of sand heading for my eye balls will be closely followed by a spurting torrent of gloopy foam will fly, ‘penis-like’ out of the bottle at which point a trusty assistant (John), armed only with his smile and the aforementioned crappy travel hairdryer will attempt to aerate the Beast downwards.  I’m sure we’ll laugh about it afterwards! 

Wish me luck!